thanks for all the comments on ENT! i haven't decided if i'm going to do it, but it's definitely one of my top few choices. :)

after being assured by the rest of my cohort who had already sat for the opthalmology posting exams that it was as easy as pie, i went into the exam room, well, not very prepared. a gross understatement.

as it stands, i managed to completely fluff 2 slides out of 10, and mess up quite a bit of the rest. hopefully i'll scrape a pass!

this is a severe reminder that "easy as pie" is only true IF you have studied. i really really do need to remind myself that not everyone takes things so lightly. and i neither should i, really.

i realise that eye surgery freaks me out. as in, REALLY freaks me out. i can't stand the thought of anything touching my eye besides my contact lens!

i don't know how the glaucoma patients do it, when they have their IOP measured with applanation tonometry. how can they sit there passively and let the probe touch their eye? me, i'd bolt.

we had our IOPs measured, and it took me 8 tries to finally open my left eye enough as they fired air jets into it. OWWWW. that was freaky enough!!!! thankfully, i don't have glaucoma.

and eye surgery is way cool, but also way freaky. the thought of cutting an eyeball? just a NO-NO. cutting some's abdomen, yes. cutting someone's head, yes. nose, yes, throat yes, legs and hands, yes. basically, anywhere besides the eye = yes.

to be awake as the surgeon gives a retro-bulbar anaesthetic to numb your eye? OWWWW. i almost freaked out.

and worst: to be able to see the scalpel coming to your eye whilst you have stitches removed in clinics on follow-up? MAJORLY FREAKY.

patients definitely have more courage than me. i guess if you really need to, you summon up the courage from somewhere. but oh please, dear God, don't let me be the one needing eye surgery now. call me a wuss, but oh, really! i can't stand anything touching my eye!

corneal transplant

then again, being me, i still do want to have LASIK. ahhhh, the price of being vain!

but opthalmology is OVER! and now, for ENT!

am back! and most sadly, have started school :(

HOLIDAYS ARE NEVER ENOUGH :(

but i've had good trips so i'm happy! can't ask for too much eh.

i managed to catch the rugby world cup finals (albeit a delayed telecast!) and was HORRENDOUSLY DISAPPOINTED.

ENGLAND HOW COULD YOU DO THIS!!!!!

ok, i know it's not their fault, but arghhh. i was so rooting for england to win!

alright enough of that!

like i said, i'm back in the hospital now, and am looking into the windows of people's souls.

so opthalmology isn't that boring after all! unfortunately, am as blind as bat. whilst everyone else seems to have no problem using a fundoscope to see lovely beautiful optic discs that are hyperaemic/cupped/elevated margins/pale etc etc, i have problem even seeing the blood vessels of the eyes. :( am a complete utter failure at this. i can't even tell if the blood vessels lead to optic discs, and have blinded several patients with my (borrowed) fundoscope by now, i'm sure, with the blindingly bright light i use.

fortunately, a nice resident told me to steal some pupil dilators (short acting) from the clinics, and to go home and dilate my family member's pupils before bed and to see their eyes. teehee. will be trying that out soon, and i'm keeping my fingers crossed in hope that i finally do succeed! :)

going to the OR and being allowed to look down the zeiss microscope during a cataract surgery (a phacoemulsification) was THE BEST THING EVER! i can see just why people fall in love with opthalmology. the clarity of the images, the delicacy of the surgeries, and the feeling of satisfaction when the lens slides in place; you just know that you've done something incredible and helped this man/woman get sight back.

AHHHHH. the miracles of modern medicine! incredible.

also saw a botox jab to relieve a facial spasm. also incredible.

but botox is so freaking expensive! 300 for unilateral crow's feet, and 400 for unilat upper eyelid jabs. eeks. plus you've to redo them every 6 months or so.

eye candy abounds in this department, no doubt. the guys have been trying their darndest not to drool at all the lovely females around, most of whom would be considered v pretty by most standards.

in the male eye candy department, it is rather lacking, sadly! but i've found one who more than makes up for it. he's earnest, kind, and willing to sign my attendance so i can go off early. OOPS. and he's so geeky cute! i'm such a sucker for geeky guys who're cute. suffice to say he's the reason i drag myself to early morning clinics when i'd otherwise be at home sleeping. and meeting him in the OR was the best thing ever! :)

oh dear. i realise how pathetic that sounds. but it'll be over soon, we're moving on!

all in all, i don't think i'm going to do opthalmology though, it's too narrowed and sub-specialised for me. i think i'd lose interest quickly.

one more week! and then i move to another glamourous specialty. but tests and reports await first :(

i can safely say that otolaryngology interests me far far FAR more than opthalmology. bring on the scopes and hearing devices!

horror upon horrors! have realised am going to miss the rugby world cup finals because will travelling :( oh sadness. my heart is breaking! i can only pray where i'm traipsing to has cable. if not, i will be one heartbroken girl.

and yes cal, jonny wilkinson TOTALLY wins! :)

but holidays have been fabulous. even if i only have a 1 day break in between trips - i would much rather do this than go to clinics ANYDAY. am so terrible! definitely not your typical med student!

where i just came from :)

am looking forward to my next holiday tomorrow, hopefully it'll be as fabulous as the 1st! :)

meantime, please keep safe and enjoy yourselves! :) if you're jealous, just think, in 1 week's time, i will be back slogging away in the wards again. so there ;)

instead of studying for my upcoming OB/GYN exams like the good girl i should be, all i am doing is watching rugby.

yes, rugby. world cup fever has hit where i live!

in particular, england.
no, not because they play well, or because i like jonny wilkinson's butt everytime he lines up for a kick (suggested by a guy friend as a reason for my deep undying love for england), but just because.

and also, they have the best looking player in the game! which accounts for a very very teensy, tiny part of why i support england. (really!!)

altogether now: awwwwww.

i heart you toby flood! may you make more tries and convert more kicks for england!

then again, if new zealand was still in the world cup, i doubt i'd very much notice toby flood at all. anyone thinks much of dan carter? ;)

right. back to OB/GYN stuff

OSCES for OB/GYN were today, and suffice to say i bungled it up miserably. most miserably. it was my own fault for snuffing those stations which i prepared for (and well-prepared at that), and not preparing those that were strongly hinted at which to come out.

it was 10 min per station, and i got chased out of 3 stations early with a disappointed look on the examiner's face. rather ghastly. i couldn't answer questions like: so what is the cause of the foetal distress? can't you pick it up from the history? to which my only answer was: am very sorry, i really don't know.

that went on. and on and on and on. which left me feeling utterly demoralised and broken after the exams, so much so i had to run to the toilet and cry. not a good thing, considering i have never ever done that before.

but i'm home now, away from that stress. 1 more week till some much needed rest! theory papers await. one more week!

this is what babies really truly look like when they've just been delivered. all icky, screaming, crying and definitely not cute at all.

and yes, we really do check the genitals 1st thing once the baby is born!
very important ;)

and after that, once they're big enough, they can be dressed up like this!

everyone, altogether now, awwwwwww.

delivering my 1st baby was an experience. or maybe lack thereof. i did basically nothing but put my hands on the baby's head, and the midwife did the rest. but still! it was one of my lifetime experiences. i mean, how many people get to help out?

but before we get to the delivering babies part, let's deal with the observing deliveries part.

where i come from, we have a falling birth rate. and that thus equates to less deliveries to do. and that thus means many many medical students fighting for few patients. so you have to wait till you go on call to try your luck!

and when we were on call, it just so happened that a senior i knew was on call and very willingly showed us the ropes despite being a busy sleep deprived intern himself. thank you very much! that, in essence, is exactly the type of doctor i want to be. never too busy to teach.

and so, i got to observe a birth first. the mother was a young skinny girl, she looked almost too small to be carrying a baby! her husband to be was 8 years older than her. very tall and skinny. and they're getting married shortly. she was in labour for real long, and vomiting and screaming and crying in pain. and through it all, he held her hand, wiped her vomit, and cleaned her up. wow.

and the birth itself took more than 2 hours. geeee. she had no strength left to help push, and couldn't put herself properly in the crunching position, so i ended up helping to hold her leg for 2 hours. my hands almost fell off after that.

andddddd. she made progress of 0.5 inches (descent of baby's head) in 1.5 hours. geeee. but shortly after that, she really picked up and the baby was born within the next hour! :D everyone was so relieved. me, i was just grateful i didn't have to hold her legs anymore, my arms were so tired.

but ohhhh, the baby was so so so cute! big big eyes and chubby cheeks. :)

and scarily enough, she had extensive perineal damage and the repair took an hour. and she couldn't stop bleeding out. thankfully it stopped after a whole lot of rubbing.

and now mother and baby are fine :) thank God! :D

it was the first time a patient ever thanked me. even though i didn't do much. but i really was so thankful that they were both alright.

and so after that much drama, i went to sleep. only to be woken up by the intern yelling that a delivery was in. for me!

and that proved pretty uneventful as the mother already had 2 children prior to this :) very easy and fast delivery, over within 20 minutes with minimal perineal damage. although i did nothing, it's definitely something to remember :)

i think i'm in love with OB/GYN!