so my postcards have reached some of you? :)
that's lovely! :)

right now i'm finishing up my 2 week rotation in paediatrics at the same place where i'd just finished my internship, it's nice bumping into the doctors as i walk around! :)

paediatrics, though, is a completely different story.
i'm totally not cut out for this.

our first tutorial was on a small boy with down syndrome. as expected, he'd the usual cardiac defects and we were expected to pick that out.
me, all i could think of was "this is such a small boy, and that's such a big scar"
i know i tend to let my emotions get the better of me, but really, this has got to stop. i'm terrified of kids because i'm scared i'll make them cry. i'm scared of making them sadder, of putting them through more inconvenience, of making them more uncomfortable.
it's really saddening to see a small kid burst into tears when the 100th medical student of the day has percussed his chest and he's just to tired and sad.
it breaks my heart, honestly.

on the other end of the spectrum, i feel like slapping bratty kids who run in and out of clinics shouting and throwing temper tantrums. i have little patience and i think lowly of kids with bad behaviour (they're usually just plain spoilt by their parents, not ADHD or autism, usually), which makes me supremely pissed off.

so i spend time swinging wildly between being pissed off and being sad.
clearly, paediatrics is really really NOT for me.

pyschiatry's up next!