exams are over, for a little while! but a little while's good enough for me, a break from endless days in hospital sounds pretty good. even if i do love what i do!

clinical case was alright, much better than i thought it would have been, but i didn't exactly make the mark in more ways than one. hopefully i'll pass, doing another reposting is not the most ideal of things! testers were really nice even in the face of my high ignorance in most matters. and despite calling my bluff at some points there were nice in correcting me. i think i love paediatricians, they have the most amount of warmth in them. palliative care/ oncologists must come a very close second.

but paediatrics is really not for me, i have not enough brains to think so much. as of now, some options are looking alot more tempting than others, but there's still 2.5 years of med school left so i'll just take it easy for now.

and for the first time in my entire life, i handed in a paper early. i really didn't know how to answer my theory paper much, if not for the help given to me whilst studying the day before, i doubt i'd even stand a chance of passing. but there is a gracious God after all, and hopefully i just scraped through!

i loved my rotation in paeds, it was much fun! kids are lovely, they make you believe there's still hope left in this world. looking at them in their innocence, sometimes you wonder when you grew up and left it all behind. but paeds also makes me sad. some of them don't even have a future to begin with, they're born with congenital defects/genetic conditions etc. and have no future. like SMA type 1 babies. they're not mentally retarded, they know what's going on like normal babies. just that their prognosis is 6 months from the date of diagnosis. just 6 months. it sounds so cruel. i wish i could do something to help, anything even. but in so many cases you can't do a thing. thankfully, there are so many more cases you can help!

it's hard for me to see a case as a case. i try to do that, but somehow the human side always shines through, and i'm a firm believer in taking a good social history, i think it really helps you to understand the patient and try to tailor mx towards what they might be more accepting of. unfortunately, i did just that in my clinical test and almost completely forgot the presenting complaint. whoops! thank God i did get my diagnosis right at least!

i'm looking forward to my next round of postings, it's bound to be interesting! in the meantime, i'll leave you with this photo. do a spot diagnosis!

it's been a long while since i've updated!

we've just had our first tutorial in what feels like a really long time - 2 long cases, neither of which i clerked. it makes me realise how low my standards are compared to the others in my bunch, and that i really ought to buck up and pull up my socks to catch up. medicine isn't about competing, i know, but really, not being as smart and hardworking as everyone else is really a terrible thing. i resolve to start working harder for the patients i'm going to treat in the future! (but of course, i always say this and forget so please do remind me)

had clinic with the head of paeds today. i am astounded by his friendliness and warmth. he actually cares for his patients beyond his clinic! he was telling the child's parents to bring him out to see the christmas sights. wow.

this is what i aspire to be, something more than the usual doctors. someone who knows the meaning of human contact and the value it brings.

but to get there first i need my theoretical knowledge - which means i'd better start studying! there's an exam in 1.5 weeks. i'm so dead!